A business partner once came into my life like a lightning bolt—charismatic, visionary, and full of grand promises. He knew exactly how to inspire trust, painting futures dripping with success and speaking in declarations so big, you couldn’t help but believe. And just when the doubts would start to creep in, he’d reward you—just enough to keep you on the hook, never enough to make you whole. That was the pattern. The partnership began to feel lopsided, the energy draining, the promises thinning. Eventually, I saw the truth: I wasn’t a partner. I was a prop in his performance, a means to an end in a story that was always about him.
I probably would’ve kept going, kept pouring myself out, if it weren’t for that nudge—the spiritual kind. The kind that starts as a whisper and grows louder when you ignore it. Something in my spirit began to ache. I wasn’t just exhausted—I was misaligned. And somewhere in that quiet frustration, I felt God press a question on my heart:
“Is this who you want to be?”
That’s when it hit me. This wasn’t just about him—it was about me. About what I’d tolerated. About the ways I’d ignored red flags for the sake of potential. About the parts of me that wanted success so badly, I stopped listening to the still, small voice of discernment.
The Mirror I Didn’t Ask For
This person—flawed as he was—became a mirror. Not just a warning, but a reflection.
He showed me who I didn’t want to become: someone driven by ego, image, and empty promises. He exposed the parts of me that needed healing. The parts that still craved validation. The parts that confused charisma for character.
Painful as it was, I’m grateful. Because that mirror became a turning point.
Scripture says in John 15:2, “He cuts off every branch that doesn’t bear fruit, and every branch that does bear fruit He prunes so that it will be even more fruitful.”
This was pruning. And pruning hurts—but it also clears the way for deeper growth.
God Uses Even the Narcissists
There are many kinds of narcissists that show up in our lives:
- The Charmer, who reflects your hopes and dreams but disappears when reality hits.
- The Performer, who lives for the spotlight and expects you to clap on cue.
- The Savior, who acts like they’re rescuing you, but really, they’re just controlling you.
- The Victim, who twists every situation to make themselves the wounded hero.
They often don’t see the damage they cause. But God does. And He can use it—not to punish us, but to refine us.
The Grace Hidden in the Wreckage
What felt like betrayal became clarity.
What felt like loss became liberation.
What felt like manipulation became a masterclass in boundaries and self-worth.
God didn’t send that person to destroy me. He allowed it to develop me.
To draw a line in the sand between who I was—and who I was becoming.
Now, I’m more grounded. I listen to the Holy Spirit more quickly. I honor red flags instead of rationalizing them away. And most importantly, I walk away when the energy doesn’t match the assignment.
The Final Puzzle Piece
In God’s puzzle, even the difficult people have a purpose. Even the narcissists.
They may never change. They may never say sorry. But if they push us closer to wisdom, truth, and spiritual maturity—then they’ve done their part.
I don’t hate that chapter anymore. I don’t replay it with resentment.
I bless it. Because through it, God showed me not just who someone else was—but who He was calling me to be.
